by Tor

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Released on cassette and download.


released September 11, 2014



all rights reserved


tor Royal Tunbridge Wells, UK

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Track Name: Sarah Beeney
Hey Sarah Beeney here' s some valentines day advice,
Stay off of my tv and out out of my life.
When I need advice on showing the most nipple on day time tv I'll call.

Its quicker its cleaner better value for money,
Unkempt and obscener than the next
Finally the recipient of a mistaken wave
I can't decide who looks more disappointed,

Let it all hang out.

Round round round round she gets around,
No really, she's pretty round.

Best wishes for your loss, well that fine
But what am i suppose to do with them.

Through the wind and the rain and the sleet
No don't get up yet,
You've still got more bullshit to eat.
Track Name: Slugs
You'll find me with the slugs
On the ground floor
Christmas is coming so pop on your Christmas socks.
No more white wine we're only drinking red,
Said the table cloth, to the garlic bread.

When sorry is all you've got,
Make the most of it.
Still watching the the rot

Blah blah blah.
Track Name: Congratulations
Congratulations your back in the land of the miserable,
Ahh you've missed a few things since you been away
Oh you know
Stars that sort of stuff.

Another day in your own sweat.
Making a pie last the week is fast becoming a lost art,
As the birds sing
And i wait
For everything.

My eyes my teeth my skin,
Self obsession is no obsession for anyone else,
Really its just for me.

And as the trees wave from the window
The worst in words I give to you,
As I wait for something to grow,
That isn't garlic grass, or resentment.

Linda I'm not waiting on you,
Some got sadness right through
And the cheap wine
I never had another kind

Welcome back
My shoulder blades ache but my face is still my face.
Come meet my friends
Sitting sawing off table legs

Hey Phil
Hey Phil
Hey Phil
Track Name: Linda
I don't want to be buried in a pet cemetery but who does.
He'd been putting off dying for years but it turned out to be
Higher on his to do list than we first suspected.

A steady diet of sugar puffs did little to ease the families grief,
I guess they were all puffed out as it was.
She's in the the mood

Hey Linda
Have you swallowed the whole bottle of ugly pils
Its nothing of the kind, I don't believe you.
You think you know more about fowls than I?
I'll tell you about birds

I find by self mumbling responses to questions whispered in my ear
We will get our revenge Mr Grant,
Everything I do, I do it for Linda.
It may take along time but you will get yours
Lets dance, put down your red wine and dance
I'm shocked and appalled she said 54,
Ahhhh cry me a river,
Splosh splosh.
As if I'd still be there anyway.

Would you like to come to a football party?
Offer includes classic, light pizza and pasta only,
Linda's only crime was fraud.
It was never her she said.
Bababa ba babra ann.
Track Name: Kidney Stones
Listening to bullshit seems to take up 90 percent of my day,
Or at least the part that entails human interaction of some kind
How do you feel?
With my fingers and my toes

Is there any chance you could waste a bit more of my time please?
Watching some mug teach some other mug how to play the drums,
Note to self.
To make the most of the gullible girls.

Pornography and chicken dinners
Have gone a considerable way into keeping you thinner
Than the other girls in the spin class

Walk on by, buckets off the stuff
Not even the ground knows
How you feel
If you meant it so much would you need to write a song about it.
Track Name: Two
Ahh, I feel like I've been a fucker all day.
In the canteen and on the train.
Hey Phil.
How about one more day in paradise?